mom's fried rice

this is something i rarely make, probably because i think i have to have it with egg rolls, and egg rolls are just so much work. but today for lunch i felt like fried rice, so you will all reap the rewards of that feeling. this is something my mom just made up (as far as i know) and it's delish and pretty easy. in fact, my senior year of high school i had to do a creative response to the book spring moon for english class. i forgot. so the morning the assignment was due, i called my mom from a pay phone and requested she make this ASAP and bring it by for me and 30 classmates. she kindly obliged, and it was a hit. except for the vegan in the class. i told her she could just pick out the ham and she goes "what about the eggs?" and i said "what about them? they're not meat." i soooo didn't get vegans back then.

odd tangent. sorry. so let's get started.

you'll need two cups of minute rice (or other rice...i just don't know how to cook other rice, but maybe i'll start to learn now that pioneer woman posted about how to do it), 1/4 of a white onion, 1/2 bunch of green onion, two eggs, some deli ham, soy sauce, and frozen peas.
start by cooking your rice.do not add salt to the water. the soy sauce and ham will make this dish salty enough.while your rice is cooking, melt a little butter into a small pan.crack two eggs and mix them together with a fork.then add into your pan. make sure the pan is not too hot or else you'll get egg lace. nobody wants that. except dave, who eats it with tabasco. yuck.
let the eggs cook like this for a minute or so.
when the edges have cooked, gently lift up one side at a time with a spatula and tip the pan so the runniness on top slides toward the edge to cook. do this for all four sides...
'til it looks like this.
then carefully slide your spatula underneath and flip, and continue cooking until there is no more runniness. i don't think that's a word. ah well.

next, dice up your onion and green onion.

if you buy the rectangular package of deli ham, it's the easiest (for me) to slice. cut it in half, and save or freeze the other half for the next time you're doing this on a whim (this was my frozen half. the other half i used at dave's birthday party).
cut it into cubes, like this:

then cut your egg into cubes as well.
like this.
in all honesty, you could probably skip this part. i usually do it because i have to make the eggs for egg rolls anyway so i might as well double it and add it to the rice. but really, do you need eggs in your rice? probably not. so if you're looking for a quick fix, skip the eggs.

now that everything is chopped and ready, put your onions in a pan and saute until opaque on medium-high heat. this part smells so good. noah came running in and said, "mom, what's that smell like?" as he sniffed the air. "soy sauce and onions," i told him.
sometimes i add a little butter at this point, but you don't have to. it might help when you add the rice if there's some butter in the pan, though.
they're lookin' good, eh?
now turn the heat down to low and add in your cooked rice.
and pour on your soy sauce. i would start with about 1/4 cup and continue adding from there, but you honestly don't need much more than that.
pour and mix, pour and mix, until you have the right amount.
the rice should be all light brown. any darker than this and it will be too salty.
perfect. just like me.
now throw in your ham. i'm not sure why my arm is contorted this way, but that's not necessary to the adding of ham.
stir it in.
then do the same with your eggs.
lastly, pour in a fistful of frozen green peas. i like to move the rice completely out of the middle and pour the pile right there where the heat is highest. i let them sit for a minute or two until they thaw out.
then the stirring begins again. make sure it's mixed evenly in and the peas are warm and no longer frozen.
and that's it! tasty, easy, yummy, fun fried rice. enjoy!
carma's fried rice

2 cups minute rice
1/4 white onion, diced
1/2 bunch green onions, sliced
2 eggs
1/2 package deli ham
1/4 package green peas
soy sauce

cook the rice according to package directions. chop the onions and ham. cook the eggs like an omelet and chop. brown the onions in a little butter, then add the cooked rice. add 1/4 cup of soy sauce and taste. add more if needed. add in the ham and eggs, then peas. cook until heated through.

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